Debt Relief Information

A Debt Relief Fairy Tale

The Truth (Kind Of) Behind Debt Relief

Once upon a time there lived a very sweet little girl with locks of gold and cheeks of Autumn apples in blossom. Hence, they named her Autumn. Like most toddlers, she was able to say a few words, the first of all being 'Da-Da.' Oh, how Mommy and Da-Da cried with joy when they heard what was to them the most precious orations ever yet uttered within their presence.

Read on to learn more strange stories about debt relief companies.

When this little sweet girl turned five, at her party she was a delight to behold. She knocked their socks off at Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey. The apples she bobbed for in the old wooden barrel came up each time on her first try. Their redness matched the color of her cheeks. Her teeth were strong and white. Her vocabulary, at this point, had flourished. All in the family of three were filled with delight and a strong love for each other as they imagined the upcoming good fortune the future surely held for them. They were certain their story would end with, 'and they lived happily ever after.' How could they know that one day they would need student loan debt relief? (Evidently, Autumn was distracted by boys and after-school activities like cheerleading in high school, so she didn't try for any scholarships.)

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Unbeknownst to them, a storm was brewing. Dark impermeable clouds were heading their way. Da-Da would often cringe when opening the envelopes the mailman put in the box just outside the white picket fence. "Son of a Gun!," he'd often utter. Precious Autumn got very frightened when she witnessed her Da-Da's scary behavior. She would hide under the bed, listening, sucking her thumb; even though she knew Mommy despised it. Mommy said if she continued sucking her thumb, the family would need to consult the debt relief services to help them cover the added expense that orthodontics required. This, Autumn knew, was part of what made Da-Da so steaming mad. From her spot under the bed, with the security of the thumb wedged tightly in her mouth, she listened. They rambled. They shouted and yelled and knocked things over. It was 'debt relief '-this and 'debt relief' that.

What the Dickens were they talking about anyway? Orthodontics and college and summer camp; the list went on and on. Why were they so worried? And what the Dickens is a 'mortgage' anyway? And why do they need to talk to the 'emergency debt relief ' people anyway? The debt relief service, apparently, was going to show them what steps needed to be taken to refinance. Refinance what? Nights like this, Autumn just wanted to snuggle with Snagglepuss, out in his house in the yard, hoping the 'repo' man wouldn't come and carry her and Snagglepuss away, too.

As far as Autumn was concerned, debt relief didn't sound very relieving. Her parents fought tooth and nail over it. What was relieving to Autumn was Baby That-A-Way snuggled close to her heart as Mommy read her a story after tucking her into bed. Da-Da used to sing to her because she had heard he had a minor career as a lead vocalist for some hippie band. They were called something like, "The Ultimate Spinach." Whatever.

But now the only things Da-Da sung about were debt relief--debt relief--debt relief !! And he didn't sing in that beautiful melodic voice of his; rather he screamed shrilly. He screamed so loud sometimes, Autumn thought her little fishbowl tank would crack and poor Simon would come swishing out and she'd have to flush him down the toilet like poor Carol Ann had to in that scary movie 'Poltergeist.' Da-Da was relentless. Mommy tried calming him, handing him pages she'd printed from the internet on things like debt relief consolidation. He tossed them aside, growling. From the stack on the table, Mom now handed him some papers on non-profit debt relief, reminding him of the perks of the 501(c)(3). He told her, "Ah, P'shaw, Woman."

Autumn hated when Da-Da used this language. There were other words that she didn't even like to repeat in her head. Rather, she tried to erase them immediately, humming a few verses of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider."

But during this particular evening, Autumn had finally had it. She couldn't block it out. She figured she'd come out of hiding and pretend she'd lost her powers of speech, manipulating them into thinking she was a mute. But, she said, 'Ah, willakers, I'm going for it." And she slid out from under the bed and did the Elaine-Dance (Seinfeld) into the living room. Her parents took one look and were stunned into silence.

From Autumn's mouth came a slew of gobbledygook: "Debt relief yourself to hell! Screw you and your free debt relief ! Why don't you ever talk about American debt relief ? Why don't you get off your lazy arses and schedule a debt relief consultation at a debt relief clearing house? You think you can ignore your consumer debt relief? You can't make it disappear, you know. Cowards. Get debt emergency relief now! There are so many debt relief programs out there. Even the moderately retarded have higher IQ's and more courage than you two!"

The parents were, of course, aghast at their daughter's actions. What could have brought this on? Had she been receiving transmissions from some debt relief company operating a low-frequency transmitter near their home? Was the debt relief of America posse after them? She went on...

"Look into Christian debt relief! Get yourself to a debt relief clearinghouse. Get it? Look at the nomenclature. Do I have to spell it out for you: C-L-E-A-R-I-N-G-H-O-U-S-E? Duh. And, unless you've been living under a rock, your credit card debt isn't going to vanish like Puff the Magic Dragon so you better think about credit card debt relief. Shazam! Do I have to hit you over the head with a debt relief program or should I trample Mommy's flower beds that stink to high heaven? If you don't get debt relief right this moment, I swear I'm getting my crap and getting the hell out of dodge.

The End of This Debt Relief Tale

And they got it. They followed through with Autumn's plan. And they lived happily ever after thanks to reliable debt relief help. This is why everyone should embrace debt relief counseling through debt relief agencies.

Autumn's Future in Debt

As we said before, Autumn was a bit distracted in high school and didn't try to get scholarships. And obviously her parents couldn't afford to establish a college fund for her. Because of her parents' debt dilemma, when she graduated from college, Autumn had a few student loans to pay back. However, it was worth it because she was able to graduate with a degree in finance! And she was smart enough to use student loan debt consolidation to help her pay off her student loan debt.

Since Autumn was wise beyond her years in the area of debt counseling, she decided to take her experience and her finance degree to make a career of debt management. She saw how much it helped her parents, and she wanted to be able to give others debt help, too (without having to resort to the Elaine dance).

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